We know the importance of spending time with our children and yet we delegate that responsibility to the world of electronics in the form of television programming, video movies, and video games. As they grow older, we are now allowing them to stunt their socializing skills with cell phones, text messages, tweets and Facebook posts.
Of course we have high expectations when it comes to education and socialization. We expect our children to get good grades and to become involved in school activities and to become socialized to the extent that they can stay out of trouble and show politeness and respect towards our friends.
But we must do more if we really expect them to excel. I can remember, as a child, how much time my mother and father spent with me and my sisters. They were both busy people, my father a military man, frequently gone on assignment, my mother a stay-at-home mom with three children. Yet we never felt deprived of their time or of time spent as a family. We ate dinner together whenever possible and it was always an enjoyable time. No one was allowed to sit silently and eat, rather, each was expected to recount the details of their day, after which there was some discussion followed by word games or a time when someone would pose a question for common discussion. Dinner was a time spent in communicating, learning, understanding and enjoyment.
But that was decades ago. Today, a concerned parent must take into account hectic schedules, diverse activities, the demands of a two-income household and a host of other modern problems that our parents didn't have. But the need for parental involvement in the child's development is still there.
Parents must find the time, prior to school age, to help their children prepare for the educational opportunities that will be coming, and during the school years, to provide the encouragement and support that is often desperately needed. They can lead their children to success in the following ways.
Lead by example, demonstrating the acts of learning, reading, and exploring ideas. Let the child see you in action as one who questions, who thinks, who learns and understands.
Lead by explanation, by offering explanations to your child when they don't understand or ask questions about actions you take or decisions you make. Help them understand in a kind and patient way.
Lead by encouragement to help your child feel good about accomplishments. Avoid telling them they are intelligent, smarter than others, or destined for greatness. Instead, praise their work ethic, their determination, their clever solution, or the kind way that they handle conflict.
Lead by engagement, by finding the time to spend with your children, listening to their problems, offering suggestions, telling them stories, and being their parent and loving mentor. Take advantage of those brief moments to smile, to share a joke, to tousle, to pat them on the back and help your children feel good about themselves.
Lead by enrichment, by providing them with an environment that is conducive to learning. Surround them with books, craft equipment and toys that lend themselves to exploration, imagination creativity and curiosity.
Any quality time that you can give them will be greatly appreciated, perhaps not right away, but when as adults, they look back on their childhood and they can say, "You know, we had a pretty good life, growing up.
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