Here are some ideas to help parents help their kids listen:
1. Let your child know that he/she is a good listener:
Many times parents will inadvertently reinforce negative behavior, i.e. not listening, by pointing out all the times their child is not listening. It is better if parents were on the lookout for any positive behavior. If at any point children are listening, even if it is because it is something they like to do, parents should praise their child for that behavior.
For example:
You listened! you got into the car right when I asked, you are excited to go to Grandma's house, so you were able to listen on the first try!
You listened! When I asked, you came right away to brush your teeth with your favorite flavor toothpaste!
When we praise our children for listening, even for the things they like to do, we let them know that they are capable of listening. Kids believe what we tell them and we are basically telling them that they are good listeners. This will then be incorporated as part of their self-image. If we show them the ways that they are good listeners, they will think of themselves as good listeners. This can help ensure better listening and attention to parents overall.
2. Keep it brief:
Parents often will talk a lot and it is hard for kids to decipher all the information that they need in order for them to actually comply. When parents are succinct, kids have a better time following directions.
For example:
Instead of:
"You need to go the bathroom, and go get your toothbrush and start brushing your teeth right now. It is getting late, and it is almost past your bedtime!"
Try:
"Time to brush your teeth!"
Keeping it short does a lot to help kids understand what you want from them. It helps them listen.
3. Tell them what they need to do:
Many times parents will tell kids what they shouldn't do, instead of what they should do. This can be very confusing for kids.
For example:
Instead of:
"You never listen, you keep on playing with your toys and not listening. You need to listen."
Try:
"Dinner time. Time to come to the table!"
Helping children to listen can be a full time job. Being positive, giving short but sweet directions and telling children what they need to do, can help.
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