You obviously already know what making a change occur in your child's behavior requires. You have to change the way you're communicating with your child and I'm glad to know you're looking for effective parenting skills. Too many parents think the change doesn't have to come from them and that if their child doesn't understand when they spank or yell at him, he has a problem. Understanding you can have results in your child's behaviour by mastering some effective parenting skills is a key step toward a major change in your relationship with your child.
Being a good parent simply means giving to our children all the love we have and all the values and tools to make them become responsible, sensitive, tolerant adults able to express their feelings, resolve problems. We can't react impulsively to really teach something to our children. That's why the 5 following effective parenting skills will help you.
1. Be a role model for your child. Remember he imitates you, discover the world and precisely the adult world through your own behaviour. Be the adult you want your child to become.
2. Always remain calm. You teach nothing if you yell at your child. Never react impulsively in front of your child. Contain your outbursts. Feeling angry is normal. Cool down in another room if you need. Keep your voice down but speak with a firm tone when needed. No need to scream.
3. Always explain the consequences of his bad behaviour to your child. Tell him what you say no to. Reward his good behaviour. Often, children keep having a bad behaviour because they don't understand. When they do, they can choose how to behave by knowing what will be the consequence, how you will react, what they'll get out of it. This is one of the most effective parenting skills in the long run. Start now.
4. Encourage your child to build his self-esteem. Tell him he's capable of doing things but show that making mistakes is ok. Don't seek perfection. Pay attention to what he does, what is difficult for him, notice when he makes an effort. Don't do things for him. Let him try.
5. Tell and show your unconditional love for your child. Always express that you love him no matter what. Some of his behaviours are not acceptable, that's why you punish them, but those punishments never diminish your love for him. Kiss and hug your child and say "I love you". It's very important.
But what if my situation is more difficult and my child's behavior intolerable?
When a bad behavior has already become a habit in your child or teen and that you have no control or authority over him anymore, some effective guidelines have to be applied by you as soon as possible. Unfortunately, time is always against you and in such situation, you need more than just a few tips. The good news is that some parents and therapists created very effective parenting programs that you can easily apply.
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