When Jessica saw the ugly red "F" on her math test, her stomach sunk like a rock. 'I've failed again,' she thought. Jessica crumpled up her test and hid it deep in her backpack.
Later that night, her mother called out from the kitchen, "Jess, how was the test?" "We didn't have it," Jessica yelled back.
Her mother didn't see the burning red flush on Jessica's face. 'I've flunked 3 math tests in a row. Mom will find out when we get our report cards on Friday.'
As her tears soaked her pillow that night, Jessica felt the push to tell the truth but fear pulled her back. 'Mom always says honesty is easier than lying. But I can't tell mom. She trusts me. She'll know I've lied.' Hours passed before she fell into a restless sleep.
Meaningful Talks with Kids:
Most kids have felt the guilt of fibbing to get out of trouble. Sometimes they come clean and tell the truth. When they do, they feel better if their parents compliment their honesty. If parents go into a rage, kids are likely to keep lying. Discussing Jessica' situation can help them decide to become more truthful. Parents need to be kind and rational in their approach.
Questions to Ask Children:
Gather your kids together and read Jessica's problem. Then discuss these questions:
1. What is Jessica's problem?
2. What could Jessica do to make things worse?
3. What could she do to fix her problem?
4. If you were Jessica, what would you do? Why?
Make sure each child gets time to share their own ideas. Don't judge out loud. If one child gives unsatisfactory answers, talk with him privately. Ask him more questions to get him to think more wisely.
Caring:
In this story your child can put herself in Jessica's shoes. She can feel what Jessica feels. She understands Jessica's dilemma. She knows the right thing to do. She also knows it's hard for Jessica to tell the truth because she's already lied. This is empathy.
Solutions:
When your child brainstorms how Jessica could fix her dilemma, she is problem solving. If she decides what she would do if she were Jessica, she is preparing for a time when she might be in a similar dilemma. Since she has already thought through the problem, it is hoped she'll follow her own best advice.
Becoming Socially Aware:
Family conversations about problem stories help children realize that others have similar feelings to their own. Discussions with siblings help them see how family members might think differently. This is the beginning of social awareness.
Conclusion:
Don't just talk about schedules. Talk about morals and values with stories your kids can relate to. Use problem stories for family discussions to teach empathy, problem solving, and social awareness. Find out what your children think. The fact that you listen well will please them. They'll think, 'when I talk, my parents listen.' You'll be building character too.
Jean Tracy invites you to view this short video for your family discussions: Character Building: Stories for Family Discussions It promotes empathy, social awareness, and problem solving in kids. Now available on Amazon.com
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