Parents need to learn how to criticize their children in a manner that it supportive, encouraging and motivational. But how can parents openly discuss sensitive, yet urgent issues with their children, without hurting their feelings?
· Be in control of your emotions
Some parents tend to get carried away by all the possible negative scenarios that they can think of as a result of what their child has done, and can act in an irrational and harmful way. For example, if you catch you 12 year old smoking a cigarette that you accidentally left unfinished in the ashtray, a healthy way of dealing with this would be to talk it through with him/her in a calm, relaxed manner. Screaming, shouting or physical abuse are obviously part of a reprimanding and punishing approach, thus should be avoided. What you want to do is to rationally highlight the consequences of your child's actions long-term and discuss them thoroughly (i.e. studies show that addiction is formed due to exposure to addictive behaviour or substances; as long as you do not try it out, the chances that you develop addiction get slimmer by the day).
· Remember to balance out the negative with the positive
Children have a frail emotional structure that can be easily unbalanced if they feel unappreciated. As a parent your duty is to find a healthy way to support your child while being honest and truthful about what you think he/she has done wrong. If your child fails to pass a test at school, resist the temptation to start an argument about him/her not having spent enough time studying; but rather point out that while you appreciate his/her effort, maybe it is time to devise a new, more efficient learning strategy.
· Deal, forgive, forget and encourage
Dealing with problems when they surface is the first step to not fostering frustration and to avoiding stress from building up. The second step though is learning to wholeheartedly forgive your child and forget about the incident. The last stepping stone is to encourage change for the better on a daily basis. Having an understanding attitude towards your child's mistakes will motivate him/her to come to you for advice and support in the long-run. Both of you will enormously benefit from constructive criticism if given without being biased by past issues.
Abigail Simmons is Author of Positive Parenting Secrets Book. She has helped many parents solve their parenting problem using her practical positive parenting techniques. To learn more about her parenting tips and techniques, please visit http://www.101ParentingResources.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Abigail_Simmons
