Showing posts with label Child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Child. Show all posts

You Want a Baby, But Are You Ready?

You Want a Baby, But Are You Ready?
When you decide to bring a baby into this world, YOU are no longer first, your baby is. So therefore, you have to be willing to be committed and dedicated to do what you have to do in order for your baby or babies to have a fair chance at having a good upbringing. Ask yourself some important questions: Do you like to sleep in and don't like getting up early or throughout the night? Do you still love to party and stay out late? Do you enjoy doing drugs and alcohol? Do you have a lot of random people coming in and out of your home at all times of the day and night? Are you lazy and don't like to clean or cook? Are you one of those people that don't have a job and you're not planning on working either?

Does crying irritate you? Would you have a problem with changing dirty diapers, cleaning up spit and vomit, and staying up late if you're little one becomes sick? Do you have the patience to teach them how to hold their bottle or eat on their own when they get to that certain stage? What about when it's time to teach them how to walk? I hope you understand that there's potty training that comes along with raising a child as well. Children have to go to the doctors to get their shots and checkups and, when they get a little older, you're responsible for taking them to the dentist too.

There are SO many things that come with raising a child, please understand this. It's not all fun and games. I can't tell you how many people I've heard saying, "I can't wait to dress my little one in cute clothes." REALLY, that's it? Reality check! Dressing kids in cute clothes is at the bottom of the list, and depending on the age of the child, you'll have to change their clothes several times a day. God forbid if you have a child that's sickly. You're going to have to have the compassion, strength, and love to nurture them through. It's not promised that your child will be healthy. Many women have complications that are unforeseen.

So, does having a child before you're ready sound fun now? I don't think so. Make sure that you're ready to be a parent before you decide to bring a precious child into this world. It wouldn't be fair to them if you're not.

Think it through carefully. Having a child is NOT a game. It's a very serious decision that you're going to have to make. Make sure that you're prepared to put them first. You're children should not come second to what you still want to do.

Learn more about author Stephanie Lahart.
http://about.me/stephanie.lahart
People are so quick to say that they want a baby. But, do you know what it takes to raise a baby? It takes dedication, compassion, love and commitment.
 

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Give Your Child a Fishing Rod

Give Your Child a Fishing Rod
The day we receive the news of the arrival of our 1st child, apart from the joy and excitement, one major emotion that is experienced is ANXIETY. The responsibility of being the one in-charge of bringing a new life to this world and to live up to the expectations of God Almighty who has reposed his highest trust in us, seems too daunting a task.

As the child arrives, we gear up to give our 100% to ensure that our child grows up with the best of everything we can provide. We ensure the best of formal education, clothes, toys and nutrition, so much so that, we try to be there to handle every problem they land themselves into.

However as we are doing that (or at least trying our best) we are overwhelmed by the innumerable worldly matters. Our race for survival and that to make our child comfortable in this big bad world puts our main objectives behind the curtains. What we end up creating is a generation laced up with decorative degrees, designer wear and flights of dreams. Does it ever occur to us... what happens to the apples of our eyes when they are faced with adversities, fierce competition, back-stabbing, frustration of failures, demanding hardships, difficult decisions and insensitive environments... and all this when we may not be around by their sides all the times, to provide a buffer for them to endure it all.

What are we giving to our children to prepare them for that day?

Every time we buy them new clothes, a pair of foot wear or the toy that he put his finger on, we need to ask ourselves-when he is on his own, would he be able to make the right decision? Would he understand the right and the wrong? Can he stand for his own rights? And if he is not able to give shape to his dreams, can he still march forward without falling prey to frustrations???

And one question for ourselves - Can we afford to ignore the ever-increasing rate of addictions, crimes, suicides and homicides among the youngsters under the petty pretence that it cannot happen to us? Can we also ignore their ever- increasing demands, unreasonable expectations, indecisiveness, over indulgence, self centeredness, lack of confidence, aggressiveness, low self- esteem attention drawing behavior and more?

After all it is the most important person in our life that we are talking about.

We almost always know the answers to these questions, however, what we need to do is start looking for answers for some more questions, and being realistic, help our children create a new world for themselves:

Is the formal education preparing my child for the real world?
What is the missing link between the education, my love and the real world?
What can I do to bridge this gap and make parenting a fulfilling experience?
Instead of a fish give your child a fishing rod!!!

Author: Dr. Sapna Sharma

Do you wish to find real and lasting happiness and peace for yourself and your loved ones in the midst of all the chaos called as 'world'?
Write to me for online counseling from anywhere: sapna@thespiritualcounseling.com.

Know your counselor on:
http://thespiritualcounseling.com/
http://drsapnasharma.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr_Sapna_S.
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3 Simple Ways To Help Your Child Listen

3 Simple Ways To Help Your Child Listen
Many parents have a hard time getting their children to follow directions and actually listen to them. Getting into the car, coming to the dinner table or even brushing teeth can be the cause of many battles between parents and children. It is hard to get kids to listen to sometimes even the simplest directive.

Here are some ideas to help parents help their kids listen:

1. Let your child know that he/she is a good listener:

Many times parents will inadvertently reinforce negative behavior, i.e. not listening, by pointing out all the times their child is not listening. It is better if parents were on the lookout for any positive behavior. If at any point children are listening, even if it is because it is something they like to do, parents should praise their child for that behavior.

For example:

You listened! you got into the car right when I asked, you are excited to go to Grandma's house, so you were able to listen on the first try!
You listened! When I asked, you came right away to brush your teeth with your favorite flavor toothpaste!

When we praise our children for listening, even for the things they like to do, we let them know that they are capable of listening. Kids believe what we tell them and we are basically telling them that they are good listeners. This will then be incorporated as part of their self-image. If we show them the ways that they are good listeners, they will think of themselves as good listeners. This can help ensure better listening and attention to parents overall.

2. Keep it brief:

Parents often will talk a lot and it is hard for kids to decipher all the information that they need in order for them to actually comply. When parents are succinct, kids have a better time following directions.

For example:

Instead of:

"You need to go the bathroom, and go get your toothbrush and start brushing your teeth right now. It is getting late, and it is almost past your bedtime!"

Try:

"Time to brush your teeth!"

Keeping it short does a lot to help kids understand what you want from them. It helps them listen.

3. Tell them what they need to do:

Many times parents will tell kids what they shouldn't do, instead of what they should do. This can be very confusing for kids.

For example:

Instead of:

"You never listen, you keep on playing with your toys and not listening. You need to listen."

Try:

"Dinner time. Time to come to the table!"

Helping children to listen can be a full time job. Being positive, giving short but sweet directions and telling children what they need to do, can help.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Adina_Soclof
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Ways to Stop a Child's Lying

Ways to Stop a Child's Lying
Once they are old enough to understand their surrounding environment and have assimilated the simple rules that govern it, children will also learn that limits can be bent and that they can get away with it pretty easily. Lying can be seen as a harmless way of avoiding punishment, of imitating parents' behavior or of seeking attention, but the underline is that lying is a consequence of not being able to differentiate good from bad, truth from fantasy, or of not having a moral compass fully developed.

Most children up to the age of 5 or 6 are not mentally equipped to understand complex concepts such as cognitive dissonance, responsibility of one's own actions, dilemmas or morality, for that matter. However, parents, through appropriate parenting techniques, can teach their children that lying is the cowardly way of getting out of a bad provoked situation and that telling the truth is a sign of self-respect and integrity.

By taking into account a child's probable motifs to lie, one can eliminate the cause and with it, the effect: lying.

· Fear of punishment

This is the number one reason why children lie: they imagine that the consequences of their misbehavior are so big, that they prefer to avoid finding out and lie instead. When confronted with the lie, children will either stick to their story, inventing other lies on the way, or will blatantly say the truth. One way of destroying their fear or punishment is by teaching them that if they tell the truth from the beginning, they get a free pass once and after that the consequences will increase directly proportional with their behavior. So that if they tell the truth next time they only get a 5 minutes time-out, but if they tell a lie instead, they get grounded for one day without TV.

· Imitating parents' behavior

Parents are not always aware of this, but children have the tendency to imitate everything they do or say. So that, if mommy tells her employer that she is sick and wants a day leave from work, but then tells her child that she only did it so they could spend some time together, the child will start believing that the cause excuses the means. Although this is an example of a white lie, children actually tend to judge everything according to a pattern parents set out for them, whether defective or positive. So that, parents should first of all assess their own relationship with the truth, honesty and integrity, before asking from their child something they cannot do themselves.

· Seeking attention

Sometimes, children will intentionally set a trap for their parents in order to get recognition, attention and generally, to be the center of discussion. Lying is the tool they use for deceiving and manipulating, and although it sounds Machiavellian, parents should see it as their child's cry for help; they should sit down to talk things through calmly without punishing the child's attempt at opening up and being honest.

Abigail Simmons is Author of Positive Parenting Secrets Book. She has helped many parents solve their parenting problem using her practical positive parenting techniques. To learn more about her parenting tips and techniques, please visit http://www.101ParentingResources.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Abigail_Simmons
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Deciding at What Age to Give Your Child Their Own Cell Phone

Deciding at What Age to Give Your Child Their Own Cell Phone
Deciding at what age to get your child a cell phone is a decidedly 21st century parenting conundrum. I originally started writing this article with the full intention of doing the research for you and boiling it down to a simple number. That isn't going to happen. I can't make your decision for you. Every kid is different, every family is different. What I can do is present you with some information to make your decision an informed, and hopefully easier one.

What's everybody else doing?

Let's start with some numbers from a 2011 study conducted by Elizabeth Englander at Bridgewater State University. A surprisingly high 20% of eight year olds own their own phones according to the study. For 10 year olds the number climbs to 39% and dramatically to 83% for middle school kids. This study did not differentiate smart phones from other devices. It's also worth noting that this study was conducted among 20,000 children in Massachusetts. The difference between smart and dumb phones was not considered in this study. A recent SodaHead poll of 1,066 parents however, found 66% believing smart phones should be kept out of a child's hands until their 16th birthday.

Issues to consider:

It's important to know what kind of issues you need to thinking about when making the decision for your own kids. I found an article from Kevin Mercadante at parentingfamilymoney.com that did a great job of listing some of things you should be thinking about. Kevin decided to broke it down into a simple pro and con list that makes a lot of sense. Remember, this article is about giving you the best information to make this decision yourself.

reasons to wait...

Expense. A clearly important factor. There are ways to moderate it through different phones and plans, however the best conceived ideas combining kids, cell phones and saving money are at best a tough balancing act. Take a prepaid plan with limited minutes, and the child can have them used up before he ever has a need to call you. I've known people who have taken prepaid or very limited plans, only to convert them to something more generous a few months later. They're kids, so we have to have flexibility built into any plan, and that will cost extra.

Cell phones aren't toys. As a rule kids tend to be casual about their possessions and instilling a sense of responsibility can be a challenge. The younger they are, the more difficult this will be. But to a child under ten just about anything is a toy. Not only will they drop it, toss it and play catch with it but they'll find a way to use it for everything but its intended purpose.

Distraction. The younger children are the more easily they get distracted. And while they already have plenty of distractions in their lives, cell phones add an extra dimension: they're portable! Not only will your child be distracted when sitting in front of the TV or computer, but his phone will be a constant traveling companion that will keep him occupied when he should be doing other things.

Theft and loss. We all lose things, we all have items stolen from us. But like it or not, kids lose them quicker, and seem to live in a world crawling with sticky-fingered peers. Yes, there are insurance plans to help cover this, but a child can test the limits of just about any plan you have. The younger your kids are, the more likely they are to lose their phones, or have them stolen. This is a strong argument against providing phones for very young children.

Proper use. Now that cellphones are so common, they've also become an issue in school. Use of cellphones in school is usually handled by confiscation. At my kids' schools, they can retrieve the phones at the end of the day on a first offense, and after that only the parent can get them back. The younger the child, the more trips you'll need to make to the front office to retrieve a confiscated phone. I'm certain detentions are meted out after a certain number of confiscations. The point is, your child needs to be able to comprehend and apply proper judgment on when and where to use his phone.

reasons not to wait...

Keeping tabs on them. As each year passes in a child's life they venture farther from home and for longer periods of time. As normal as this may be, as parents we still need to know where they are, especially when they're young. Cell phones are a critical way of maintaining a connection when kids out of sight.

Safety and emergencies. It should be enough that cellphones can give you immediate contact with your children in a crisis, but they do even more. If you have young children and you've ever taken them to Disney World you'll appreciate this point quickly. No matter how careful you are, kids have a way of getting separated from their parents, especially in crowded places. But if they have cell phones you'll be able to find them quickly, and just as important, it will eliminate the panic that can set in when they disappear. Ever since we got cell phones for our kids, trips to the park, the mall and yes, even Disney World, aren't nearly as scary.

Social factors. This shouldn't be a factor, but it's a major consideration for your child. As kids are getting cell phones at increasingly earlier ages, social factors become real. No child wants to be one of only three kids in her class who doesn't have a cell phone. And worse, those cell phones "need" to be of a certain type, and carry socially desirable features to make the cut. Like it or not, the social component will be a factor in your cell phone choice sooner or later. My guess is sooner...

Health Concerns

You may have heard stories about a radiation risk from wireless devices. I always assumed this wasn't much of a concern, but what do the experts say? The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recently sent a letter to the Federal Communications Commission asking the commission to reconsider it's radiation standards for children. AAP President Dr. Robert Block, wrote that children "are not little adults and are disproportionately impacted by all environmental exposures, including cell phone radiation." The National Cancer Institute's website includes this message on the issue: "in theory, children have the potential to be at greater risk than adults for developing brain cancer from cell phones." Of course children aren't going to be spending much time with a cell phone pressed to the side of their heads, they'd rather be texting.

Some parents have expressed worries over eye strain and even long term eye damage. The AAP doesn't seem very concerned about the issue. "Probably much ado about nothing,' said the chair of their ophthalmology section, Dr. James Ruben. There infact seems to be little evidence of any increase in vision problems related to cell phone use among children and young adults.

So now what?

I'm not an expert or a parent of a 'tween' but this is my article, so forget what I said in the first paragraph. You're getting a number. I think most 6th graders are ready for a phone, though I'd limit them to a non smartphone. From what I understand, it's pretty common for parents to show up at 5th graduations with phones for their newly minted 'tweens.' I think this makes a lot of sense. And if we are giving phones away at graduation, I'd save the smartphone for middle school graduation.

For more information on this topic contact the author or visit http://maximusionsult.com

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Buying and Using Child Safety Locks Are Important

Buying and Using Child Safety Locks Are Important
Child safety locks are easy and inexpensive and should be a part of any place children spend time. Child safety locks come in many varieties and are usually relatively inexpensive. They can be as important as your child's car seat and should not be overlooked. You won't regret taking the time to purchase and install these safety features.

After my son was born, I discovered why companies make child safety locks. He was into everything and curious about how everything worked. His sisters had never even bothered with the outlets, toilet lid, or cupboards. He, on the other hand, could not get enough. If he had a car in his hand, he would try and put it in an outlet. He was fascinated with the flushing mechanism of the toilet and wanted to flush the toilet over and over. Although I had already installed child safety locks before he was born, out of concern for my other children, I had not seen them put to good use until he came along. Child safety locks are important for keeping your young children safe and giving you greater peace of mind.

With so many types of locks out there, here are some tips on which kinds to buy and where to place them:

1. Get down on their level: One of the best ways to figure out what types of locks you will need is to actually get on your hands and knees and crawl around your house. What do you see? What can you reach? What looks enticing? Do you notice an outlet you had forgotten about? Is there a cupboard with household cleaners in it? After you've crawled around your house, you can better assess your needs and realize all the ways your young children could hurt themselves if precautions aren't taken.

2. Safety Yes, Bubble No: We all want to protect our children, but we have to realize we cannot protect them from everything. No matter what you do, kids will sometimes find ways to get hurt anyway. The best thing we can do is understand the inherent risks in childhood and then take necessary safety precautions.

For example, a toilet lock is a good thing for a child who is going to have access to a bathroom. If you are unable to keep the door shut and aren't always around to supervise, consider installing a toilet lock. These simple devices attach to your toilet and lock the lid down. Toddlers are prone to drowning in toilets because their heads are so heavy compared to the rest of their bodies that they are simply unable to lift their heads back out of the toilet if they fall forward.

On the other hand, installing a refrigerator lock may be unnecessary as most toddlers aren't strong enough to open a refrigerator anyway and the lock will only cause you frustration in the end. Locking everything up and installing padded bumpers on everything will make you feel like you are a toddler again as well. With proper supervision and attention to those areas of obvious concern, most parents will be able to adequately protect their children from harm.

3. Take a "wait and see" approach: Covering the outlets in your home is an easy and obvious place to start. Children seem to be drawn to those little holes in the wall and covering them up doesn't require very much money, time, or effort to install or remove when needed. The same goes for cupboards where cleaners are kept. Obviously you will want to keep children out of those cupboards by installing some sort of cupboard lock which can be found at most grocery stores and big box stores. The other things like stove guards, oven locks, refrigerator locks, etc. can all be purchased as needed. If you see your child reaching for the oven and he is able to open it, you may want to consider buying a lock.

Conclusively, child safety locks come in many varieties and are usually relatively inexpensive. They can be as important as your child's car seat and should not be overlooked. You won't regret taking the time to purchase and install these safety features.

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Supportive Way to Criticize Your Child

Supportive Way to Criticize Your Child
In order to build a healthy and balanced relationship with your children, sometimes you have to know when to set out firm rules, when to intervene in case of misbehavior, but, also, when to constructively criticize them if the situation asks for it. Many educational psychologists believe that repetitive harsh criticism should be avoided because of the negative effects it can have on the child's self-esteem. However, constructive criticism is essentially different.

Parents need to learn how to criticize their children in a manner that it supportive, encouraging and motivational. But how can parents openly discuss sensitive, yet urgent issues with their children, without hurting their feelings?

· Be in control of your emotions

Some parents tend to get carried away by all the possible negative scenarios that they can think of as a result of what their child has done, and can act in an irrational and harmful way. For example, if you catch you 12 year old smoking a cigarette that you accidentally left unfinished in the ashtray, a healthy way of dealing with this would be to talk it through with him/her in a calm, relaxed manner. Screaming, shouting or physical abuse are obviously part of a reprimanding and punishing approach, thus should be avoided. What you want to do is to rationally highlight the consequences of your child's actions long-term and discuss them thoroughly (i.e. studies show that addiction is formed due to exposure to addictive behaviour or substances; as long as you do not try it out, the chances that you develop addiction get slimmer by the day).

· Remember to balance out the negative with the positive

Children have a frail emotional structure that can be easily unbalanced if they feel unappreciated. As a parent your duty is to find a healthy way to support your child while being honest and truthful about what you think he/she has done wrong. If your child fails to pass a test at school, resist the temptation to start an argument about him/her not having spent enough time studying; but rather point out that while you appreciate his/her effort, maybe it is time to devise a new, more efficient learning strategy.

· Deal, forgive, forget and encourage

Dealing with problems when they surface is the first step to not fostering frustration and to avoiding stress from building up. The second step though is learning to wholeheartedly forgive your child and forget about the incident. The last stepping stone is to encourage change for the better on a daily basis. Having an understanding attitude towards your child's mistakes will motivate him/her to come to you for advice and support in the long-run. Both of you will enormously benefit from constructive criticism if given without being biased by past issues.

Abigail Simmons is Author of Positive Parenting Secrets Book. She has helped many parents solve their parenting problem using her practical positive parenting techniques. To learn more about her parenting tips and techniques, please visit http://www.101ParentingResources.com

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When Single Parenting Is Best For Your Child

When Single Parenting Is Best For Your Child
In the process of creating a safe and happy family environment, parents play the lead role. It is with their care and attention, devotion and commitment, unconditional love and sacrifice that an empty lifeless house is transformed into a dream nourishing haven for their children. Unfortunately, studies show that more couples with children decide to separate or divorce, adding yet another generation of single parenthood to the family tree.

Many modern day parents resort to counseling or family therapy in order to make their relationship work for the sake of the children. But there is no success guarantee in the long-term. Others will peacefully agree that separation or divorce is actually in their children's best interest. All in all, a single parent usually chooses this path because he/she wants to avoid going through certain painful or difficult situations every day:

1. Physical or verbal abuse

An abusive home environment is not healthy either for the children or the mistreated parent. Children can adapt to a variety of situations, but they should never be exposed to maltreatment, abandonment or verbal abuse. In such a case, it is of no surprise why a parent decides that he or she would be better off raising the child/children on his/her own. The children would no longer have to live in fear, and they could finally have a normal life as a family.

2. Addictions

Addictions take up to one year to fully develop and it is common knowledge that an addicted individual will stop at nothing when it comes to fulfilling his/her needs. That person will resort to hiding, stealing, lying and a number of other dishonest means, without taking into consideration long-term consequences. Again, such an individual can destroy lives and break up families. The other partner, or the victim, will eventually give up the struggle, deciding that the better thing is single parenting.

3. Lack of interest in family life

When a father prefers a job that involves a lot of travelling or late office hours, and when he is at home does not engage in playing with the children or doing anything for the family, for that matter, a red flag is signaled. This scenario is often found in homes with dysfunctional family dynamics where there couple has communication and intimate problems. Other symptoms include fighting on a daily basis, crying, menacing that eventually lead to separation and single parenting.

Abigail Simmons is Author of Positive Parenting Secrets Book. She has helped many parents solve their parenting problem using her practical positive parenting techniques. To learn more about her parenting tips and techniques, please visit http://www.101ParentingResources.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Abigail_Simmons
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My Child Is Always Angry - What Can I Do?

My Child Is Always Angry - What Can I Do?
How many times have you wondered why your child seems so upset? Does she seem to burst out in anger at a drop of a dime? You know it's more than just hormones but you are at a loss about what the cause can be. If you think you've thought of everything and nothing seems to be improving her mood, there may be a couple of things to look at more closely.

  • The angry outbursts and behavior may be a coping mechanism to cover up the stress of peer pressure at school. When kids feel the pressure from friends but try to "stay cool" around them, it's only a matter of time before they explode. Where do they explode most often? Where they are most comfortable, which also equates to home, for many kids.
  • Hormonal changes are real and should be dealt with accordingly. If your teenager is the one doing the angry outbursts, it may very well be due to hormones and definitely should not be handled from a negative stand-point. If you approach your changing child with criticism or irritation, you will most likely get that, and more, back. This is a time you really need to have compassion on your child. Remember, you were there once, and what was most helpful was having someone to listen. Maybe that's all your child needs now.
  • If your son or daughter is really struggling with wanting to express their frustrations but feels unable to, due to trust issues or whatever the cause may be, you will definitely see anger. Think about it. You know when kids are at school they tend to act differently. They act as if everything is OK. They need to keep the "cool" persona going. They won't always bend their friend's ear to talk about something they feel is a real issue. Most importantly, if it's an issue where they need guidance, sometimes the last thing you want is another child who is the same age telling them what they should do. This is a good time to make sure your child knows they are free to express themselves and speak without being criticized.
  • Sometimes children just need to speak to a counselor. As parents, we always feel that if we get to this point in the road, we have failed. That's not the case. Sometimes an outside person is the perfect person for your child to speak to, at least initially. The counselor will have no biased opinions and will be a listening ear. This can get the ball rolling for more productive communication between you and your child as they learn to open up.
These are a few ways to get you started in helping your child start to view his or her world differently. I'd love to be able to teach you how to do more!

Learn ways to help you child cope with anything in life. This has brought me great results with my children as well as others' children. Visit Http://Teach-Children-Self-Esteem.info.

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How To Introduce Your Child To The World Of The Internet

How To Introduce Your Child To The World Of The Internet
The internet has become a way of life for many families around the globe and millions more are yet to be introduced to the usage of the internet. Soon every child will have to be introduced to the world of the internet as soon as they go to kindergarten. Like television, the internet has to be introduced responsibly by parents to their little ones. This is because there are particular pitfalls that have unpleasant consequences if children are not properly guided in the usage of the internet.

There has already been many cases of children being lured by unscrupulous individuals and mercilessly exploited and even murdered. There are also many bad things that children can learn to do through the internet if not carefully introduced by their parents, teachers or any one in charge of bringing up a child.

Here in South Africa, people have been warned to be careful of picking up plastic bottles that have their caps closed. Some children have been reported to have poured a small amount of drain cleaning liquid into a plastic bottle and then closed its cap tightly, and leave it lying around to be picked up by unsuspecting persons. Once a person picks it up and shake it just slightly, it explodes, leading to scalded hands and face, lost nails and burned clothing. Some people have already been hospitalised with serious injuries from such deadly booby-traps.

One child who was caught putting such a booby trap next to a park bench, confessed to have learnt how to make this type of bomb over the internet.

Some children have also been lured to certain places around their cities only to be kidnapped, then abused, or harmed in some way. Other children have disappeared only to be found that it was through the internet that they were lured by their stalkers. Many more have been bombarded with pornographic, and other unwholesome images that have stolen their young innocence and thereby warped their young minds. Responsibly introducing your child to the internet is the key.

Other people have opted not to introduce their children to the world of the internet altogether. But this is useless. The internet has become a learning tool for millions of children and is soon going to be a way of life for every child around the world.

The thing to do is to give proper guidance instead of sticking our heads into the sand as the proverbial ostrich does. Like the bicycle, the swimming pool, electricity, or walking in a traffic clogged city street, children have to be introduced responsibly to the internet so as to survive in our highly technical world.

Retired English and History teacher. Self development enthusiast and affiliate marketer. For more, visit my website at: http://mphojanelebokoinformationexplosion.com/page_7.html

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My Child Is Always Frustrated - What Can I Do?

My Child Is Always Frustrated - What Can I Do?
If your child is always frustrated and nothing you suggest seems to help ease it, there may be some things you haven't thought about. When we see our kids frustrated, immediately we tend to get defensive or we want to fix it. We don't always stand back and notice that we aren't the ones who are frustrated. It's our kids and we want to help them learn valuable coping skills.
  • When kids are overly emotional- any emotion, really, they have the tendency to "clam up" after their initially frustration, anger, etc. We want to teach our kids to use their words. Yes, this is what we teach them when they are really young but somehow as they get a little older they seem to forget again! Share your coping skill stories with them. Explain how there was a time when you felt the same way and share what you did. Kids love to hear examples.
  • Karate is a great activity to get into if the child has aggression, self-confidence or frustration issues. They learn to become self-disciplined and feel good about themselves. This is wonderful because as time goes on, they become less and less hard on themselves in areas that aren't that important. The "little stuff" doesn't seem to affect them as much.
  • Check your community or even your child's school to see if they offer children's coping skills classes. These often have very energetic, happy teachers that lead the children into learning how to handle their emotions but do it in such a way that the kids really want to keep going back!
  • As a parent, reach out and take a class to learn how to cope, yourself. This way you will be empowered to help your child as he faces his struggles. You will be well equipped for your own life situations that arise, as well. Your investing your time learning these valuable skills will benefit many of those around you.
  • Be sure your child understands that it's OK to show how he feels when he's around you. Just being able to "vent" creates a safe-place for your child and he or she will know they can come to you no matter how they feel. This is a priceless gift to you and them.
These are a few ways to get you started in helping your child start to view his or her world differently. I'd love to be able to teach you how to do more!

Learn ways to help you child cope with anything in life. This has brought me great results with my children as well as others' children. Visit Http://Teach-Children-Self-Esteem.info.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shanyn_Coblentz
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Kids' Learning Game - Educating Your Child Through Fun Games and Toys

Kids' Learning Game - Educating Your Child Through Fun Games and Toys
When trying to please their kids, most parents would give toys or games as presents. The most common of these toys include stuffed animals, cute dolls for girls, toy cars, and balls for boys. But while these toys can make children happy, child experts are encouraging all parents to purchase toys that would not only pique their child's interest but would also hone his skills. These playthings come in different forms and varieties, and they are shelved under the "kids' learning games" or "educational" category.

The obvious importance of educational games and playthings is their role in a child's development. During the early stages of a child's life, there are certain developmental milestones or skills that he must acquire for him to grow into a mature and fully developed adult. Some of these skills include crawling, speaking, walking, and logical thinking. To make sure that a child perfects them, he must be given two things: first, all the tools he needs; and second, enough opportunities to use these tools for his development.

Since a child does not have enough experience in life, parents can sometimes have difficulty trying to impart learning. Thankfully, with educational toys, this difficulty is addressed. Many playthings these days target a specific skill that a child must hone. For instance, to teach logical thinking, parents can give their child a ball that contains puzzling shapes and figures. Aside from that, these toys are also specific to certain age groups. And as a child becomes older, the toys and games become more complex, but they are still fun to play with.

When a child is less than 3 years old, toys are usually geared towards the development of their fine and gross motor skills. Examples of playthings targeting these skills include the following: soft or stuffed balls, stackers, and soft puzzles.

For toddlers, most educational toys are visually stimulating. Most of them contain pictures, bright colors, and bold letters to catch and maintain a child's attention. These playthings are usually geared towards the development of a child's creative thinking skills. Examples include the following: shape sorters, building blocks, and mix-and-match playthings.

For children with ages 10 and up, they can be given advanced puzzles, word games, and board games of all sorts. There are even games that you can find online. If you know where to look, you can find free online educational games that you can download and install anytime. All of these are geared towards complicated tasks.

To learn more about kids' learning games, go to http://www.kidslearninggames.net/.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Melanie_B_Reyes
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The Dangers of Ignoring Reading Difficulty in Children

The Dangers of Ignoring Reading Difficulty in Children
Many children struggle a little when they start to learn to read but time and good teaching helps them to overcome those initial difficulties. However, if by half way through his first year, your child can't recognize around one hundred common, short words then he may be experiencing difficulties. Don't disregard the signs as the dangers of ignoring reading difficulty in children can be traumatic and far reaching.

Embarrassment and Frustration

Reading difficulty in children brings out all sorts of emotions; embarrassment because they look foolish in front of their class mates and frustration because no matter how hard they try, they just can't get the words out and reading aloud in class becomes a trial.

School children being what they are, children with reading problems will be teased and even bullied by their class mates, and may end up in trouble by trying to fight the bullies.

Teachers and parents of these children see an apparently intelligent child who doesn't seem to be trying to learn to read, so they are labelled "lazy" or "careless" or "stupid". This adds to the child's frustrations because he is trying so hard, but he just can't live up to adults' expectations.

Anxiety and Anger

Children with reading problems can become anxious and withdrawn if nobody recognizes that they have a genuine difficulty. Because these children expect to fail, they will become anxious when faced with a new situation which involves participation in school work.

Reading difficulties can also lead to an unstable temperament. Teachers and parents think the child isn't trying, class mates think he's stupid and he can do nothing about it, so he becomes angry and starts to lash out at those closest to him such as parents or siblings.

Self-Esteem

A child who is unable to read properly will have difficulties with any other school work which requires reading. As he gets older there will be more and more subjects which require reading skills, such as history and geography to name but two.

A child with normal reading abilities will develop his own self-image during his school years and in general, it will be a positive one leading him to believe that all things are possible and that the world is his oyster.

Children with reading problems will begin to feel inferior to their school mates and siblings who can read fluently. Constant failure will lead to feelings of low self-esteem and a reluctance to make an effort because doing so doesn't make any difference. Their view of the future will be a dim one and they won't expect to succeed in life.

The Consequences

The dangers of ignoring reading difficulty in children can result in any or all of the above emotions for the children, and many of them fail to complete school because it seems so pointless, and of those who do graduate from high school very few go on to further education.

If you suspect that your child is having difficulty reading, do seek help while he's young and don't let him develop into a frustrated and angry adult.

There are excellent online phonics reading programs to help resolve reading difficulty in children and you can find the best ones on this website, Start to Read.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ella_McGinley
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Want Ideas For Fun Clean-Up-Time Games?

Want Ideas For Fun Clean-Up-Time Games?
How many times have you become frustrated when you are trying with all your might to get your child(ren) to clean up and they just won't do it. Perhaps they do it but they throw a fit every time. You feel like you are pulling teeth just to try to make it happen. Have you tried all kinds of fun games to get your kids to work with you during clean-up time but you're out of creative ideas? I'll share a few things that have helped me in this area.
  • Play the "roll-away" game. This is where you take a tissue box and decorate it with some bright wrapping paper or colored paper- whatever you have around the house. Then, add pictures of the items that are the hardest to get cleaned up. This could be blocks, books, Legos, etc. Add those pictures to the tissue box. Sing a little song and let the kids take turns in rolling the tissue box and whatever picture(s) end up facing up, those are the things they clean up. It makes it a fun game and before you know it, the room is clean.
  • Turn on a song and use it to clean up in a fun way. Sing and dance a little to show some excitement and say in a HAPPY voice "Whoever gets everything cleaned up before the end of the song gets to help with ___" You fill in the blank. This can always be tweaked if you need to, such as whoever finishes first gets to help.
  • Another fun way to clean up is to play music and JUMP when a group of items has been picked up. Such as, after putting away all books, jump 4 times. Whenever the kids put all of the Legos away, jump 2 times. If you have active kids, this is great for them.
  • Be sure to show lots of PRAISE when you see a job well done. Praise goes so much further than negativity. Instead of finding reasons to criticize a job, give praise for willingness to help. Give praise for a good, I-can-help attitude. This will go very far with the kids.
  • Change your kids' perspective of clean up time. Instead of making it seem to be a chore, help them to see the benefit of cleaning up by singing a song like "Time to clear our fun and start over again. Thanks toys!". If your kids see you engaging in the activity in a positive way, they will react positively as well.
I love to find creative ways to do regular tasks. I've enjoyed using riddles to do all kinds of things from planning play dates to having Birthday parties. Have you ever considered how much fun this could be? You should explore the option!

For fun party ideas and to see the cool ways I use riddles visit Http://Age-Appropriate-Riddles.info.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shanyn_Coblentz
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Ten Minute Family Clean-Ups

Ten Minute Family Clean-Ups
I don't know about you, but in our house we have the best of intentions when it comes to picking up and cleaning. I've never been able to pinpoint the exact time, but somewhere along the way, our good intentions get sidetracked, which quickly spirals to laziness, blame and complete and utter lack of motivation.

We live in a bi-level home that doesn't have much storage. To be exact, we have roughly one square inch of storage, give or take. That said, our kids' rooms can quickly get overrun and all encompassing, making them seem like daunting tasks to tackle.

In a midst of genius and desperation, I came up with a stroke of genius - the 10 minute family clean-up. Let me say that when I announced this concept I was sure it would immediately crash and burn. Much to my surprise and joy, the kids were excited and even motivated! The only way this works is because all four of us were doing our 10 minute clean-up at the exact same time. No one can say "boo" if we're all working together at the same time. We make it enjoyable by playing upbeat music - sometimes we take requests prior to the start of the 10 minutes.

Now I know 10 minutes is not much time. But, when four people are all working at the same time, 40 minutes worth of work is accomplished each night in 10 minute increments giving us 70 minutes each week per person. In that short amount of time, we get close to 5 hours worth of cleaning done between the four of us. What does that equate to? One weekend worth of cleaning by your average mom. Since we are accomplishing this task in 10 minutes each day, we are able to fully enjoy the weekend instead of spending it dusting, cleaning and arguing about chores.

Admittedly, some times we go over our time. This is strictly by choice. When the timer goes off, we are done. And yes, to make it fair we use a timer. Since we have started our 10 minute clean-ups we have noticed an increase in family time, more relaxed weekends and a tidier home. What's not to love, right?

If this works for you, please let me know! Did you have any tweaks to make it a success for your family. Please share your experiences! I always love to hear what works for you and your family!

I came up with a stroke of genius - the 10 minute family clean-up. Let me say that when I announced this concept I was sure it would immediately crash and burn. Much to my surprise and joy, the kids were excited and even motivated...

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kelly_S_Santaguida
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What Happens When 'Mr Perfect' Isn't Always (Perfect)

What Happens When 'Mr Perfect' Isn't Always (Perfect)
"Our child is 'Mr Perfect' so whatever goes wrong makes him angry. Before he was just screaming, now he is shouting "Don't take it, it's mine; I won it, you lost; I was first."

He wants to be the best and most of the time when others create competitions such as who will be first by the door or who will jump further, he gets frustrated when he loses. Then he shouts that he won, not the other child, he cries and we don't know why he is taking it so seriously.

He's just learned how to ride a bike but he is not as fast as other children his age, so he was getting really upset. When others were just passing him he was shouting that he is faster and they are slow, that he will throw away their bikes into the bin."

When I consult on situations like this, it flags up a number of things for me and I want to share these with you to help you begin to see WHY this behaviour is coming about so that we can begin to figure out how to help:

Self- awareness is a deficit of autism that many struggle with and this can be improved. But as you may be aware: solve one issue and another arises. When a child's self awareness improves it can mean that they start to see differences between themselves and peers and begin to notice that their abilities differ also. The repercussions of this means that it can shake their competence levels and make them more competitive in certain situations.

Essentially this comes down to feelings of incompetence; if we feel good at something then we want to do more of it. Let's face it, no one likes to feel like they are not good at something and this applies to children too, if not more so.

If we are feeling incompetent at something we want to make ourselves feel better. There are various ways to go about this:
• This particular child has chosen to use his language to put others in their place that he is first / better / winning / winner etc. This will help to affirm to himself that he is competent.
• Sometimes you will find children 'give up' on trying to achieve something if they have come to the decision that they will never be any good at it, they avoid trying, avoid the activity altogether.
• Some children will create resistance around the activity so that it becomes difficult to engage them in the interaction and that eventually leads parents or guides to give up because they don't know how to handle it.
• Some children will create their own static situations as a replacement for any activity or interaction they don't feel competent in.
• Some children will make it an obsession of theirs to become an expert at it and will not leave the activity alone until it is mastered.

What can we do to help in these situations?

I find that having the groundwork in place makes a huge difference to how this is approached. You must come to understand that something like this has developed over a period of time and it will take many, often hundreds or more, interactions to help change this by learning through experiences.

• Develop competence - always have this in mind, you always want to be developing your child's competence in whatever it is they are doing. You can do this by guiding them and scaffolding to support them.

• Discuss differences - help your child to understand that everybody is different; everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Discuss yours and help them identify theirs.

• Spotlight process not product - when the true focus of interactions are on the process rather than the end product, being a winner or the best gets put aside; it is not as important as participating and enjoying the time spent together.

• Reassurance - give your child reassurance that where they are at is just perfect for them, that they are learning at a great speed and some things take time and practice. Tell your child that they are doing really well, give useful feedback. Praise the effort not the result.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Elisa_Ferriggi
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Does Your Child Have Friends?

Does Your Child Have Friends?
We all value the reasons for having friendships and research shows that healthy friendships and relationships improve quality of life, prevent depression, anxiety, isolation and loneliness. Naturally this is something we want for our children and of course, from our own experiences of what value and importance friendships have given us, we want the same for our children.

Why do children with autism find it so difficult to develop friendships?

This is because friendships are based on the deficits of autism (experience sharing, episodic memory, self awareness, flexibility, and dynamic intelligence).

• True and lasting friendships are about sharing experiences with one another.
• Forming and reliving episodic memories with one another is a common occurrence through friendships.
• Understanding you well enough to not upset another person or feel offended by a friend's comments or actions is required for friendships.
• Being flexible enough to know that there are no specific rules in friendships. There are different levels and types of friendships that vary in how you communicate, how you see each other, how often, when, where and doing what etc.

When I speak to parents during their complimentary initial consultation one of the many goals that parents have for their children is "I just want him/ her to have friends!" Because of the social 'skills' required for children to make friends, most children on the autistic spectrum find it difficult to do this. I need to inform you that although it might be useful to equip children with tools, tips and tricks to making friends, most of the time it just is not enough. For true friendships and friendships that are maintained, it requires developing the foundations of relationships first.

The first relationship (with parents) is the most valuable and a foundation for all other relationships. This is why we should spend time establishing, strengthening and supporting that guiding relationship to begin with, before we even consider bringing in peers to interact with.

• Helping children to become familiar with sharing experiences with others is one of the most useful things to focus on during interactions; this can be done through your interactions by shifting the focus from the task to the process.

• Guiding children to help regulate their own moods, emotions and feelings as well as share this with other people (and knowing when it is appropriate and when it is not) is also helping to lay the foundations for friendships.

• Accepting changes, and being flexible enough to accept when things go differently to expectations and as well as to contribute ideas to the situation and relationship can make a difference in the quality of the friendship. For many children this is a very slow and gradual process depending on their level of flexibility.

• The friendships that are sustainable and true are those that are equal in participation and effort. You may have already experienced a friendship that didn't feel equal, it may have felt more hard work, like you were doing all the giving or maybe all the taking and it wasn't enjoyable. Children need to learn to take responsibility for their own actions and contribute to interactions as an equal partner.

Suppose we taught friendship skills to children with autism as a list of rules, this might be how it would look (I made this up):

1. Always say 'hello' to your friend.
2. Contact your friend once a week.
3. Ask your friend if they are OK?
4. Share your food with your friend.
5. Check that your friend wants to play the same game as you or do the same thing together.
6. Have a laugh and enjoy being together.
7. Always say 'goodbye' to your friend.

Now take a moment to think about how and when these rules might NOT work, be taken literally and what are the multiple responses that could come from any one of these rules. This is where the dynamic intelligence is required; we cannot control what response other people give us and so we need to be flexible enough to be able to respond to them no matter what they are. If we were to follow these rules or a similar set of rules, the interaction would become very static, unnatural and may feel staged to the other person, who would soon lose interest in that relationship.

How do you teach children to develop friendships then?

We spend time on addressing these core deficits to help the child develop in a more typical way and through the guiding relationship with parents, and then siblings and then extended family to develop their competent episodic memories of relationships. This is a process and because it is working on the underlying issues, it takes time. When the time comes and the child is ready, this becomes a more natural progression where friendships are not forced, or hard work, but form more typically. Once parents understand how this is developed, the need for them to want to have friends becomes a goal that you work towards and they also begin to not just settle for an artificial friendship but can see the doors open for true friendships.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Elisa_Ferriggi
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Dare to Communicate With Your Child

Dare to Communicate With Your Child
Conventional wisdom says that a child usually communicates using his vast imagination, and as a parent you try to discern what message your child is trying to convey. Slowly as you try to rationalize your child's apparent inquisitive behavior and to prove certain things that he would not understand at his age.

Every single day both parents and child seek an opportune time to bond with each other. It is a kaleidoscopic endeavor in communicating with your children and there's nothing more exciting than to hear them telling their own story.

Allow me to share with you this noted hearty conversation between my wife and our son:

Our son: "Does God love music? I know, I'll pray and ask Jesus." (Then our son prayed and returned shortly to confirm that God said yes.)

My wife: "Yes indeed God loves to hear every child's prayer and you should be thankful for all His blessings."

Our son: "Why is there a big shining star in the picture?"

My wife: "It is the Star of Bethlehem which led the three Magi to the birthplace of baby Jesus."

Our son: "Oh, I know, God wants to say 'good job' because it had a picture of a star."

You could easily pinpoint from these perspectives that a child's determination is based on what he sees and hears. In this way, you are giving your child enough leeway to express himself with confidence; cognizance of how to conquer fears, and how to satisfy dreams through his imaginative intellectual play.

On why there should always be stories to tell with your child is a fun way of getting to know him better. On how your child perceived information is how deep your understanding and adjusting to events will be tested.

Your child has his own logic to explain situation. There was one moment when my wife has to convince our son that the game is called "hide and seek" and not "hide and see" (as what our son believes). Our son explained that when playing the game, he was tagging every searched friend by saying, "I see you." And that was how our son arrived to call the game as "hide and see."

A child's play is always accompanied by imagination--where he would usually create a story, assign characters to act in (just like watching a great shadow puppetry act), and try to create the impression of moving humans (of why they are there and how they would think and act). It is impressive to see that a child has his own way of using creativity.

You should try to limit your child's use of screen media and electronic toys. Instead, take the advantage of letting your child play outside with other children of his age and mingling with them will teach your child the art of interaction. Once more, share with your child the good old days playing on traditional games that he might be interested in exploring.

Child shows interest in art. He starts making a straight line, a circle, or any shape that his uncontrolled hands could go so far. And through his imagination he can be able to interpret his drawings.

Go invest in art supplies that your child may see and use for his creativity, and at the same time building and enjoying each other's imagination. In setting free a child's imagination is aiding his dreams to come true.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Noel_Nicolas_Villarosa
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Always Kiss Your Child Goodnight

Always Kiss Your Child Goodnight
They are so sweet when they are sleeping. I used to go into their rooms and just look at them. My sister who is also in recovery told me how she would kneel down and pray at their sides for them while they were sleeping. I got that idea from her and started doing that as well, especially when we were struggling to communicate, or they had a test the next day that they were stressed about.

Kiss your child goodnight even when they are sleeping reminds me of how important bedtime ritual is to the routine of life for small and school aged children. Each night start the bedtime ritual at least 30 minutes before you want your child in bed to sleep. Children need lots of sleep. Nine or ten hours at the very least. The younger the child the more sleep they need. We would start with baths, pajamas, reading and then prayers, tucks and kisses. Sometimes they would fall asleep during the story, but usually not.

Sometimes they would need monster spray because they were scared. I would take a can of aerosol and spray the closet and under the bed. We would talk a moment about their fears and I would tell them that now they were protected. I would help them call on our ancestors to be on guard that night for the childhood imagined monster and leave them and go get myself ready for bed. Before I would lay down I would go in one more time just to look at them and to make sure that they were asleep.

For many of us as children in our own homes, there was no bedtime ritual. For many of us chaos ruled and children were forgotten. Being a parent is a new opportunity to learn to parent yourself and your children. All of the 12 Step lessons and teachings can easily be applied to parenting. Choose a bed time ritual and stick to it. Your children will come to love it and they will look forward to it. Go shopping together for the books that you will read. Choose pillow cases that they will put on their own pillows and see each night when they go to bed. Bring joy to the evening rest time.

Do not allow ego or angst to creep in just before you are ready to slumber for the evening. Take your grateful heart to the evening ritual so that you are emotionally available to your child. Many children will be challenging, asking for water or food. Put a glass of water by the bed and tell them that breakfast will soon be here. If they complain of illness or colds tell them that their bodies are magic and can heal themselves overnight (which is true). Tell them to imagine themselves well and to sleep with this faith. Kiss them goodnight and tell them how much you love them and tell them what blessing that they are to the Universe.

Clean and sober parenting may seem like an afterthought for those who work 12 Step Programs, but it should be the first priority after one's own self care. Our children watch us, they believe that we have all the answers and that we love them with all our hearts. We must be intentional about raising the souls that have been entrusted to us by the universe. Love and forgiveness take effort. Apply your program to your parenting.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Eleanor_R
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