Kiss your child goodnight even when they are sleeping reminds me of how important bedtime ritual is to the routine of life for small and school aged children. Each night start the bedtime ritual at least 30 minutes before you want your child in bed to sleep. Children need lots of sleep. Nine or ten hours at the very least. The younger the child the more sleep they need. We would start with baths, pajamas, reading and then prayers, tucks and kisses. Sometimes they would fall asleep during the story, but usually not.
Sometimes they would need monster spray because they were scared. I would take a can of aerosol and spray the closet and under the bed. We would talk a moment about their fears and I would tell them that now they were protected. I would help them call on our ancestors to be on guard that night for the childhood imagined monster and leave them and go get myself ready for bed. Before I would lay down I would go in one more time just to look at them and to make sure that they were asleep.
For many of us as children in our own homes, there was no bedtime ritual. For many of us chaos ruled and children were forgotten. Being a parent is a new opportunity to learn to parent yourself and your children. All of the 12 Step lessons and teachings can easily be applied to parenting. Choose a bed time ritual and stick to it. Your children will come to love it and they will look forward to it. Go shopping together for the books that you will read. Choose pillow cases that they will put on their own pillows and see each night when they go to bed. Bring joy to the evening rest time.
Do not allow ego or angst to creep in just before you are ready to slumber for the evening. Take your grateful heart to the evening ritual so that you are emotionally available to your child. Many children will be challenging, asking for water or food. Put a glass of water by the bed and tell them that breakfast will soon be here. If they complain of illness or colds tell them that their bodies are magic and can heal themselves overnight (which is true). Tell them to imagine themselves well and to sleep with this faith. Kiss them goodnight and tell them how much you love them and tell them what blessing that they are to the Universe.
Clean and sober parenting may seem like an afterthought for those who work 12 Step Programs, but it should be the first priority after one's own self care. Our children watch us, they believe that we have all the answers and that we love them with all our hearts. We must be intentional about raising the souls that have been entrusted to us by the universe. Love and forgiveness take effort. Apply your program to your parenting.
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