1 - First and foremost, remember that being an effective parent does not just mean decreasing negative behaviors on the part of your child. It also means as a parent that you need to be aware of the good behaviors your child acts out, so that these behaviors can properly be encouraged and, thus, enforced. Children cannot just be scolded when they do something wrong - they need to also know when it is that they do something positive. This needs to be acknowledged not only so that the child will learn that they did something good, but also so that they know that you, as a parent, do not just see the things that they do wrong. You are also aware of what they do right and correctly.
2- Set aside "Special time". This is a little bit of time you set aside with your child (perhaps it is 15 minutes a day, or two hours in a block on the weekend, whatever works best for you and your family) in which you can talk to them and ask them about their day without the interruptions of other children, phone calls or other distractions.
3 - Explain your rules to your children. It is very important to let your children know what their (and your!) boundaries are. However, it is unrealistic to expect them to read your mind in all situations. It is important that you clearly state what you expect of your children in a manner that is clear to the child or children in your home.
4 - Remember that it is not a sign of weakness to listen to the point of view of your children. While it is you who makes the rules, listening to your child or children to understand their point of view will help your relationship with the child and it will also help you to understand the position that your child is in - things may have changed since your childhood and it can be important to remember this for the sake of your own relationship with your children, as well for your progress when it comes to being a more effective parent.
5 - Enforce rules in a manner that makes sense, such as withdrawing privileges or making a child clean up a mess that they made. Physical punishment is rarely effective on children and will do more harm to your child in the long run. Evidence shows that physical punishment is more likely to breed an aggressive, uncontrolled individual.
6 - If you have a spouse or a partner, make sure that the two of you are on the same page. Without having a united front, parents are creating an unstable, and thus ineffective, environment in the home.
7 - Avoid extremes. Life is fluid, and you need to create an environment that reflects this. It is important to try as much as possible to live without extremes because of the lack of extremes in every day life.
8 - Provide a good example of healthy living through your own life. If you children can see that you more or less 'practice what your preach' (Although it is obviously impractical to believe to live a perfect life), you are more effectively teaching them.
9 - Respect your children!
10 - Provide support for your children, especially during times of difficulty or trouble.
Abigail Simmons is Author of Positive Parenting Secrets Book. She has helped many parents solve their parenting problem using her practical positive parenting techniques. To learn more about her parenting tips and techniques, please visit http://www.101ParentingResources.com
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