Listen Slowly - The Key to Communication With Your Kids

There is a reason God gave us two ears - because one of these days we would be parents!

The most important skill you can develop as a parent is the ability to listen to your kids. Not so you can give them everything they want but so you can understand what they need.

When my oldest son was about 4 years old he came crashing in to my study wanting something. I was busy preparing for a test (this was my first year at Bible College... important stuff right?). He started to rattle off what he wanted. I half heartedly nodded in his direction. He stopped and eagerly patted my leg, "But Daddy" he began again, "I really... "

I cut him off; "I know son, I'm listening."

"Yeah Daddy, but could you listen this time a little slower?"

It was a good lesson for this dad because he was four. Had he been 14 he would have just walked away. I would have never known.

Love demands that we "listen a little slower!"

Listening slower involves listening at the pace your child is talking. Hearing what they are saying at the speed they are saying, not the speed you want to hear it. If you are saying to yourself; "just get to the point" you aren't really listening. Pace is an important part of communication. Rushing to get to the point makes the communication about the words and not your child. If you're trying to rush to the point you may miss the point completely.

It means to listen deliberately. Giving attention to the words being spoken and the manner in which they are spoken. Listening for more than the sound being made. When you listen deliberately you are hearing the nuances that make communication between parent and child so important.

It means to listen devotedly. You communicate to your child how devoted you are to them by the way you listen to them. Making a request of parent is a difficult task for some kids. The fact that they have taken the time to ask (this becomes a bigger issue as they get older) usually indicates that a relationship exists.

A relationship is required for the courage necessary for conversation. It really doesn't matter the age of the child. The fact that they asked means they think there is a relationship between the two of you. Taking a moment to listen reinforces that relationship.

Making a point to a parent isn't easy either. They have to work up the nerve to say what they want. Your ability to listen devotedly puts them in a proper frame of mind. Then you will hear what you really need to hear.

You can't give them everything they ask for, but you can give them your attention. Nothing in the world will do more to increase their self-worth than simply listening to them. Most of the time just listening is all that they need. That you listen is usually more important than the topic itself.

One of the most important skills you can have is the ability to listen. Maybe the next time your child is talking you can "listen a little slower... "

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Eric_Mulford

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Dare to Communicate With Your Child

Conventional wisdom says that a child usually communicates using his vast imagination, and as a parent you try to discern what message your child is trying to convey. Slowly as you try to rationalize your child's apparent inquisitive behavior and to prove certain things that he would not understand at his age.

Every single day both parents and child seek an opportune time to bond with each other. It is a kaleidoscopic endeavor in communicating with your children and there's nothing more exciting than to hear them telling their own story.

Allow me to share with you this noted hearty conversation between my wife and our son:

Our son: "Does God love music? I know, I'll pray and ask Jesus." (Then our son prayed and returned shortly to confirm that God said yes.)

My wife: "Yes indeed God loves to hear every child's prayer and you should be thankful for all His blessings."

Our son: "Why is there a big shining star in the picture?"

My wife: "It is the Star of Bethlehem which led the three Magi to the birthplace of baby Jesus."

Our son: "Oh, I know, God wants to say 'good job' because it had a picture of a star."

You could easily pinpoint from these perspectives that a child's determination is based on what he sees and hears. In this way, you are giving your child enough leeway to express himself with confidence; cognizance of how to conquer fears, and how to satisfy dreams through his imaginative intellectual play.

On why there should always be stories to tell with your child is a fun way of getting to know him better. On how your child perceived information is how deep your understanding and adjusting to events will be tested.

Your child has his own logic to explain situation. There was one moment when my wife has to convince our son that the game is called "hide and seek" and not "hide and see" (as what our son believes). Our son explained that when playing the game, he was tagging every searched friend by saying, "I see you." And that was how our son arrived to call the game as "hide and see."

A child's play is always accompanied by imagination--where he would usually create a story, assign characters to act in (just like watching a great shadow puppetry act), and try to create the impression of moving humans (of why they are there and how they would think and act). It is impressive to see that a child has his own way of using creativity.

You should try to limit your child's use of screen media and electronic toys. Instead, take the advantage of letting your child play outside with other children of his age and mingling with them will teach your child the art of interaction. Once more, share with your child the good old days playing on traditional games that he might be interested in exploring.

Child shows interest in art. He starts making a straight line, a circle, or any shape that his uncontrolled hands could go so far. And through his imagination he can be able to interpret his drawings.

Go invest in art supplies that your child may see and use for his creativity, and at the same time building and enjoying each other's imagination. In setting free a child's imagination is aiding his dreams to come true.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Noel_Nicolas_Villarosa

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