Acknowledgment:
One of the primary steps you would want to take is to acknowledge the fact that your hurt because your father was absent for whatever reason. Also make it perfectly clear to yourself that "You did nothing Wrong". I know as a child I always thought it was my fault why my dad was not apart of my growing up. As I grew into a woman without him, I realized his choice was not mine to control. Recognizing you can't get back what has passed will assist in your healing process.
Address:
Secondly, you have to deal with the fact that some questions you have may not be answered "Ever". You need to tackle the feelings that you have, cry if you have the urge to, whoever says crying doesn't help is for the weak hasn't started their own healing process. Talk about your emotional state with your inner circle of friends, family, church, groups or even counselors ( yes they can be very effective in bringing forward emotions locked away). These methods can help alleviate some anxieties and despair burdening your heart.
Forgiveness
This step is a must in your healing process, and it can be the most difficult to fully accomplish. Understanding that forgiving someone doesn't mean you are relieving them of all of the misfortunes that they have contributed to your life. What it does mean is that you will no longer waste time, energy or effort in blaming them. It is a very emotional journey but once you let go the bricks that were laid on your back are demolished one by one. The pain, anger, fear and frustration isn't completely vanished but it sure isn't determining how you proceed with the rest of your existence.While there are too many children and more women like myself who grew up without a father present, that doesn't have to define our lives and the course we choose to take. There is no need to continue to place the blame or even trying to forget, both of these actions can cause more hurt than gain. Let's start taking responsibility for our current situations and where we plan to trail in the future!
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